When my children used to wake up in the night with bad dreams, I would get them back to sleep by telling them to simply change the dream channel in their minds. I’d suggest that they picture something they think is wonderful or fun. Then I’d ask them to pretend that they are watching a scene with this thought in mind just as if they were viewing their favorite TV show. And, before you know it, they would peacefully fall back to sleep.
What channels do you watch in your mind before you go to sleep? Are you still seeing the action-packed, violent movie you just turned off? Do you turn off the light still feeling depressed from watching the nightly news? Perhaps you fall asleep reading a romance novel and dream of your loved one or you just finished a motivational magazine and wake up rested and re-energized.
On those nights that you find difficulty falling asleep or awaken in a sweat caused by your own dream monsters, do what my kids did – change your dream channel. Vividly picture changing the channel in your mind until you are tuned into a “good” movie. Find a story that makes you happy, brighten the picture, turn up the sound and let your personal dream channel send you off sleeping soundly.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Is the glass ceiling just a mirror?
In the past few months I have attended several “women only” events. And, whether it was a luncheon, business gathering, or mother/daughter celebration, there was one common theme: Women talking about other women.
Over the same period of time, I have also been involved in all male meetings. Most were business get-togethers and a few were just hanging around my husband’s friends. Again, one common theme: Men talking about other men.
Common theme – yet, very different.
I rarely heard a word of praise for one another among the women. Their conversations focused more about poor taste in clothing, hair and makeup. The world of business rarely came up although the majority held jobs. There were talks of ex-husbands and mother in-laws from hell, movie stars gone bad and even complaints about their immediate family.
When the guys mentioned someone, they usually were accompanied with the name of a sports team. Discussions went from protesting a bad shot or a missed call to praising a no-hitter or unbelievable catch.
Both groups brought up the past. The ladies talked of scorned lovers and best friends gone bad. The guys reminisced about Cinderella teams, green jacket winners and legend players.
As I reflected on this disparity, it dawned on me. Is there really a glass ceiling? Or, is it simply a reflection of who we are? Although we are making strides in the workplace, most women do not proactively help each other get ahead which comes natural in our male dominated world. Many females have not yet figured out how to get past the pettiness and move toward greatness for one another.
Perhaps it is because boys start their lives off playing on a team…from t-ball, to little league – they grow up learning to count on one another to make a basket and score a touchdown. They kick one another’s rear ends in the locker room but give a high five on the field. A good number of women didn’t experience that type of camaraderie when they were little and I think that might be why they find the team concept foreign.
If you are a woman reading this, I encourage you to find just one other female to mentor, inspire and persuade to reach for more in her life. Find ways to help her achieve all that she can be. Help her focus on her potential, lose all bitterness toward others and challenge her to live in her own greatness. Once, you have, find another and another.
If you are a man reading this, please don’t talk about it to another woman…it may make her mad.
Over the same period of time, I have also been involved in all male meetings. Most were business get-togethers and a few were just hanging around my husband’s friends. Again, one common theme: Men talking about other men.
Common theme – yet, very different.
I rarely heard a word of praise for one another among the women. Their conversations focused more about poor taste in clothing, hair and makeup. The world of business rarely came up although the majority held jobs. There were talks of ex-husbands and mother in-laws from hell, movie stars gone bad and even complaints about their immediate family.
When the guys mentioned someone, they usually were accompanied with the name of a sports team. Discussions went from protesting a bad shot or a missed call to praising a no-hitter or unbelievable catch.
Both groups brought up the past. The ladies talked of scorned lovers and best friends gone bad. The guys reminisced about Cinderella teams, green jacket winners and legend players.
As I reflected on this disparity, it dawned on me. Is there really a glass ceiling? Or, is it simply a reflection of who we are? Although we are making strides in the workplace, most women do not proactively help each other get ahead which comes natural in our male dominated world. Many females have not yet figured out how to get past the pettiness and move toward greatness for one another.
Perhaps it is because boys start their lives off playing on a team…from t-ball, to little league – they grow up learning to count on one another to make a basket and score a touchdown. They kick one another’s rear ends in the locker room but give a high five on the field. A good number of women didn’t experience that type of camaraderie when they were little and I think that might be why they find the team concept foreign.
If you are a woman reading this, I encourage you to find just one other female to mentor, inspire and persuade to reach for more in her life. Find ways to help her achieve all that she can be. Help her focus on her potential, lose all bitterness toward others and challenge her to live in her own greatness. Once, you have, find another and another.
If you are a man reading this, please don’t talk about it to another woman…it may make her mad.
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Past is Passed
I am sure there are physiological reasons the eyes of a human are placed in front of their head.
Many animals have the same physical set up as we do; and then again, just as many don’t. Nature most likely had a grand plan and made the decision based on hunting purposes or protection from predators.
When it came to us, I think nature came through with a completely different reason.
I think it is because people should always be looking forward in their life and not back in time. We need to direct our attention to the greatness that is about to happen versus focus on any history of negativity.
Which is why I believe “The Past is Passed”.
Yesterday is gone. The times of old can be reflected on, but not dwelled upon. I am certain a higher power specifically placed them in the front and up high on your head to strategically steer us along the path of possibilities.
If you consider the real Game of Life, a second turn is achievable. Forfeiting a turn is sometimes inevitable. Winning and losing alternate as life goes on. You can change course, make a move that draws surprise and even wipe your opponent out.
But, one thing that is absolutely impossible in this Life Game, is going back spaces. You never roll the dice in life and find yourself going back in time. Changing history is not an option. Therefore, those eyes facing forward are your internal compass to let go of the memories that no longer serve you.
Of course you should reminisce of the good old days, keeping the thoughts of lost loved ones and great experiences dear to your heart. But, once you have reflected on these ancient times, direct your attention to the future. Maintain an optimistic outlook.
Move on knowing The Past is Passed.
Many animals have the same physical set up as we do; and then again, just as many don’t. Nature most likely had a grand plan and made the decision based on hunting purposes or protection from predators.
When it came to us, I think nature came through with a completely different reason.
I think it is because people should always be looking forward in their life and not back in time. We need to direct our attention to the greatness that is about to happen versus focus on any history of negativity.
Which is why I believe “The Past is Passed”.
Yesterday is gone. The times of old can be reflected on, but not dwelled upon. I am certain a higher power specifically placed them in the front and up high on your head to strategically steer us along the path of possibilities.
If you consider the real Game of Life, a second turn is achievable. Forfeiting a turn is sometimes inevitable. Winning and losing alternate as life goes on. You can change course, make a move that draws surprise and even wipe your opponent out.
But, one thing that is absolutely impossible in this Life Game, is going back spaces. You never roll the dice in life and find yourself going back in time. Changing history is not an option. Therefore, those eyes facing forward are your internal compass to let go of the memories that no longer serve you.
Of course you should reminisce of the good old days, keeping the thoughts of lost loved ones and great experiences dear to your heart. But, once you have reflected on these ancient times, direct your attention to the future. Maintain an optimistic outlook.
Move on knowing The Past is Passed.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Time Management -The Eric Goodman Way
By now you have most likely attended a class, read a book or picked up an article off the WEB on time management. And, yet you continue to fight the battle against the clock. Or, you are the master of your time and reading this to just find out who the heck Eric Goodman is. Either way, keep focused and read on.
Almost every successful person I know, at one time or another thinks they can add more hours to a day. They are not really making the day longer. In reality they are subtracting from their personal time to see how much they can accomplish in a 24 hour window.
This is when exercise is replaced with returning calls. Bedtime stories are exchanged for answering emails. Meals are consumed with a fork in one hand and a blackberry in the other. Vacations are shortened or not taken at all.
How can you stop being controlled and take control of your time? Here are a few simple tips.
1. When you are on your PC, turn off the sound. How many times do you stop working the minute you hear a new email arrive?
2. Divide your day into chunks of time. Mentally assign tasks to the amount of time you believe they will take and stick to it.
3. Hold more meetings over the phone versus driving somewhere. And keep them focused using an agenda or talking points.
4. Start and end everything promptly. People will respect you more when you are respectful of their time.
5. Limit your “water cooler” moments. I work out of my house; so, I don’t have the distractions I used to have when I was employed by Corporate America. There was no time spent this morning discussing the Sweet Sixteen, Health Care Reform or Sandra Bullock’s recent dilemma.
6. And, lastly, follow Eric Goodman’s practice. Treat each work day as if it were the day before vacation. Isn’t it interesting, when you know you are leaving for a week or even a long weekend, how much you can get done the hours before you head out the door?
Who is Eric Goodman? A good friend and Director at DHL.
Almost every successful person I know, at one time or another thinks they can add more hours to a day. They are not really making the day longer. In reality they are subtracting from their personal time to see how much they can accomplish in a 24 hour window.
This is when exercise is replaced with returning calls. Bedtime stories are exchanged for answering emails. Meals are consumed with a fork in one hand and a blackberry in the other. Vacations are shortened or not taken at all.
How can you stop being controlled and take control of your time? Here are a few simple tips.
1. When you are on your PC, turn off the sound. How many times do you stop working the minute you hear a new email arrive?
2. Divide your day into chunks of time. Mentally assign tasks to the amount of time you believe they will take and stick to it.
3. Hold more meetings over the phone versus driving somewhere. And keep them focused using an agenda or talking points.
4. Start and end everything promptly. People will respect you more when you are respectful of their time.
5. Limit your “water cooler” moments. I work out of my house; so, I don’t have the distractions I used to have when I was employed by Corporate America. There was no time spent this morning discussing the Sweet Sixteen, Health Care Reform or Sandra Bullock’s recent dilemma.
6. And, lastly, follow Eric Goodman’s practice. Treat each work day as if it were the day before vacation. Isn’t it interesting, when you know you are leaving for a week or even a long weekend, how much you can get done the hours before you head out the door?
Who is Eric Goodman? A good friend and Director at DHL.
Friday, March 19, 2010
It's all in your attitude
Question for you.
Who are the people that you like to be around? You actually look forward to their call, smile when you see them, and find yourself invigorated when they are gone. Can you picture someone that seems to remove all of the negativity you may be feeling by simply their presence?
I bet I can predict one trait that the person you are thinking about has. It is a positive attitude.
These are the “glass half full” folks. They make “lemonade out of lemons”. They smile a lot, laugh easily, and seem to always be enjoying themselves.
How do they do it? Especially in today’s world. One would assume they have tons of money, great health and lots of love in their life. Yet, my guess is many carry around the same “junk” we all do. The thing that sets them apart is they have figured out one of the most important attributes possessed by all mankind.
It is the ability to control how they react to any situation. These people choose to look at the bright side of things. They find only the good in situations. They speak positive words, act in a positive manner, and focus on positive outcomes.
“Oh, but they aren’t realistic”, some say. It isn’t about facing the facts or denying the truth. It is the manner in which they mentally approach adversity as well as success. They realize that one of the things they have complete control of in their life is how they choose to react to any circumstance. They know the power of a positive attitude and its side effects.
How do they do it? Give this a try. For the next 24 hours do these three things:
1. Replace every pessimistic thought with a positive one
2. Do not speak negatively about anything or anyone. Compel yourself to say something good or nothing at all.
3. Steer clear of people that are depressing or complain. Instead reach out to the person you thought of at the beginning of this message.
Remember it’s all in your attitude and all within your control.
Who are the people that you like to be around? You actually look forward to their call, smile when you see them, and find yourself invigorated when they are gone. Can you picture someone that seems to remove all of the negativity you may be feeling by simply their presence?
I bet I can predict one trait that the person you are thinking about has. It is a positive attitude.
These are the “glass half full” folks. They make “lemonade out of lemons”. They smile a lot, laugh easily, and seem to always be enjoying themselves.
How do they do it? Especially in today’s world. One would assume they have tons of money, great health and lots of love in their life. Yet, my guess is many carry around the same “junk” we all do. The thing that sets them apart is they have figured out one of the most important attributes possessed by all mankind.
It is the ability to control how they react to any situation. These people choose to look at the bright side of things. They find only the good in situations. They speak positive words, act in a positive manner, and focus on positive outcomes.
“Oh, but they aren’t realistic”, some say. It isn’t about facing the facts or denying the truth. It is the manner in which they mentally approach adversity as well as success. They realize that one of the things they have complete control of in their life is how they choose to react to any circumstance. They know the power of a positive attitude and its side effects.
How do they do it? Give this a try. For the next 24 hours do these three things:
1. Replace every pessimistic thought with a positive one
2. Do not speak negatively about anything or anyone. Compel yourself to say something good or nothing at all.
3. Steer clear of people that are depressing or complain. Instead reach out to the person you thought of at the beginning of this message.
Remember it’s all in your attitude and all within your control.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Point the finger in - not out
One of the things we need to do a better job as a society is holding ourselves accountable for our actions. We no longer own up to the things we do.
Think back to your school days. Remember the kid in class that always blamed others for their mistakes? They were the ones who would cry, “But, it’s not my fault”, finding everyone and anyone responsible for their blunder.
As they grew, they strengthened this belief blaming the professor for their ineptness, the boss for their inadequacies, or the spouse for their failed relationship. Throughout their life they point the finger at others for their incompetence. At no time, did they take personal responsibility for how they live their lives.
This “pointing the finger out” mentality has weaved its way through humanity materializing during political campaigns, corporate takeovers, merchandise recalls, and bankruptcies. At what point does a person stop pointing the finger out and start pointing in?
Over the past several months, I have grown tired of watching people not own up. I have become weary just listening to all of the excuses why something went wrong. I find myself less and less tolerant of this behavior to the point that I no longer try to influence their behavior. Now, I simply dismiss them from my life.
Sounds harsh? It may be. But what I have found is when I replace burdensome individuals with those who anticipate the needs of others, we flourish. When I work with people that look for solutions instead of dwelling on the problems, we get more done. When I surround myself by those who have pride in keeping commitments, we thrive.
These are the people that don’t point the finger out but take responsibility and point the finger in.
This blog is dedicated to the “Team of Five”, Maryellen, Matt, Ellen, Headley and Jesus at Plantation General Hospital. They “point the finger in” day in and day out; and, I am truly honored to have the privilege to work with them.
Think back to your school days. Remember the kid in class that always blamed others for their mistakes? They were the ones who would cry, “But, it’s not my fault”, finding everyone and anyone responsible for their blunder.
As they grew, they strengthened this belief blaming the professor for their ineptness, the boss for their inadequacies, or the spouse for their failed relationship. Throughout their life they point the finger at others for their incompetence. At no time, did they take personal responsibility for how they live their lives.
This “pointing the finger out” mentality has weaved its way through humanity materializing during political campaigns, corporate takeovers, merchandise recalls, and bankruptcies. At what point does a person stop pointing the finger out and start pointing in?
Over the past several months, I have grown tired of watching people not own up. I have become weary just listening to all of the excuses why something went wrong. I find myself less and less tolerant of this behavior to the point that I no longer try to influence their behavior. Now, I simply dismiss them from my life.
Sounds harsh? It may be. But what I have found is when I replace burdensome individuals with those who anticipate the needs of others, we flourish. When I work with people that look for solutions instead of dwelling on the problems, we get more done. When I surround myself by those who have pride in keeping commitments, we thrive.
These are the people that don’t point the finger out but take responsibility and point the finger in.
This blog is dedicated to the “Team of Five”, Maryellen, Matt, Ellen, Headley and Jesus at Plantation General Hospital. They “point the finger in” day in and day out; and, I am truly honored to have the privilege to work with them.
Friday, February 19, 2010
What Words Do You Wear?
Most of us have a routine we follow when we begin our day. Whether you work the evening shift, sleep in until noon or watch the sun rise, we have habits that we follow day in and day out. One of those includes choosing our wardrobe. For some, it is based on what is clean and easy to reach. Others take great care in finding just the right outfit.
No matter which category you fall into, I ask you “What words do you wear?”
As you stand in front of the mirror how are you dressing your mind? Are you draped in words of happiness filled with the anticipation of a new day? Or, are you covered in gloom and negativity?
Are you wearing the same words each day as if they are a uniform? Or, do you experiment with new selections of thought that bring joy and pleasure into your life?
Use this simple exercise to uncover the wardrobe of your mind. Think of the first three words that best describe you. Write them down somewhere in the order that they entered your mind. Look at the first word and picture it as if it could wrap itself around you. Imagine it is so close to your skin that you can feel yourself absorb the word into your body.
This, my friend, is your self talk.
Now, envision the next word you wrote down enfolding you. Again, it becomes such a strong mental garment that it sets the tone of your feelings and exemplifies your view of you.
Complete your ensemble with the last word you listed making it a tight fit. Do you wear it well or is it choking off possibilities?
This is your own collection. It has your signature. It is a line only you can carry. And, these words that you bear shape the way you live your life
Do you like what you have on? Or, do you need a makeover?
No matter which category you fall into, I ask you “What words do you wear?”
As you stand in front of the mirror how are you dressing your mind? Are you draped in words of happiness filled with the anticipation of a new day? Or, are you covered in gloom and negativity?
Are you wearing the same words each day as if they are a uniform? Or, do you experiment with new selections of thought that bring joy and pleasure into your life?
Use this simple exercise to uncover the wardrobe of your mind. Think of the first three words that best describe you. Write them down somewhere in the order that they entered your mind. Look at the first word and picture it as if it could wrap itself around you. Imagine it is so close to your skin that you can feel yourself absorb the word into your body.
This, my friend, is your self talk.
Now, envision the next word you wrote down enfolding you. Again, it becomes such a strong mental garment that it sets the tone of your feelings and exemplifies your view of you.
Complete your ensemble with the last word you listed making it a tight fit. Do you wear it well or is it choking off possibilities?
This is your own collection. It has your signature. It is a line only you can carry. And, these words that you bear shape the way you live your life
Do you like what you have on? Or, do you need a makeover?
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