Stop Networking!!!

Bet that got your attention. Yes, I am suggesting to stop networking… at the Chamber, your “Leads Group”, LinkedIn, and facebook. Just give it all up! With tons of books and experts out there selling their ideas on how to effectively network…why on earth would I suggest such a thing? Because I don’t believe in networking – I prefer connecting instead.

Consider this: the foundation of all successful relationships is built on mutual trust. The more we trust one another the more we are willing to give to each other. Creating trust can only be done by truly connecting with the person. The dictionary uses the term “relationship” when defining Connection. Networking on the other hand is defined as “the exchange of information”. Therefore, I say “Stop Networking and Start Connecting!”

Here are three simple ways to connect with others:

1. Be Approachable
2. Be Interested not Interesting
3. Be Responsive

Connection #1: Being Approachable is about positioning yourself as friendly and open to connect with others. The most important thing you can do is simply Smile! Think about the difference you feel walking up to a stranger that is smiling versus frowning. Approachability means you greet others first. Make sure you readily extend your hand before they do. Be the one that starts the conversation.

My tip for being more approachable when meeting new people at a gathering is to pretend you are the host versus attendee of the get-together. Now you can comfortably walk up and introduce yourself to strangers – with a smile of course.

Connection #2: Be Interested not Interesting. This is creating a dialog based on the other person. Now, you listen more and talk less - focusing on the words they say with the intent to respond. You stay present in the conversation concentrating on learning about the individual versus talking about yourself.

My tip for getting people to open up is to ask them: “How did you get into your business?” Then be genuinely interested in their response.

Connection #3: Be Responsive. Once you have the relationship started you need to follow up. Whether it is sending an email, connecting through social media or scheduling a meeting, you need to determine how you will build upon this initial connection to begin establishing trust with one another.

My tip for being responsive is to be the first to follow up and focus on what you can do for them, not the other way around.

Think about the beginning of your most successful relationships. I bet in looking back you didn’t network – you connected!