You may be smart, but are you Emotionally Intelligent?

A few months ago a colleague and fellow blogger, Wayne Evans (www.WayneScottEvans.com), was sharing with me his thoughts on Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is comprised of the softer, more personal qualities of a Leader. As always after leaving a conversation with Wayne, I gave it much thought. Since that time, I have done a great deal of research, created a workshop on five components of EI and have come to a few conclusions.

One, emotional intelligence does not directly tie to textbook intelligence. Part of my investigation included meeting highly intelligent Leaders and inquiring how well they have managed their relationships in the work place. Many of these scholarly executives were very skillful at the financial, operational or technical aspect of their job. Yet, their ability to build and maintain strong relationships in and outside their organization was minimal.

Next, everyone has the potential to raise their level of emotional intelligence – no matter how “book” smart they are. I believe high IQ scores are not necessary to achieve excellence when it comes to overall EI. All successful Leaders possess it – some may work harder on it – but it is available to anyone with desire.

Lastly, elevating one’s EI begins with self-awareness and is then followed by self-regulation.

Self-awareness is the realization that you have things that you naturally do well and other opportunities for improvement. This deeper sense of presence can come from many places. It can be uncovered through assessments like DiSC or Myers Briggs, executive coaching, a therapist, mentor or good friend. The source of discovery is not as important and the enlightenment. There can be no positive development and personal growth without this first step.

When you are aware of these growth opportunities you can begin the practice of self-regulation. This is “catching” bad habits when they happen. It is the process of opening your mind to face your flaws and your willingness to change them. It isn’t easy and quick. It can take time and be frustrating. But through the self-regulation process you can continue to raise your level of Emotional Intelligence each and every day.

Using these two components of EI, self-awareness and self-regulation, is the beginning of creating a more fulfilled and successful life. Whether you are working on controlling your temper, enhancing your communication skills or practicing non-judgment, it can only happen when you are aware and then regulate the behavior.